drinking by candlelight

drinking by candlelight

By Matthew Dial

And we looked like angels
i suppose
Some unheavenly version of the term
Or in the mold of Lucifer

You were sitting on the chair
Holding your legs like a suitcase
And staring into some world that
Only existed in the cigarette smoke

i still caress the edge of the bed
Waiting for your scent to stop fading
Searching for the moment when
You first felt goodbye

What does it feel like?
The world?
Was it supposed to?

i thought we were supposed to
End in the way that stars do
But the stillness of your shoulderblades
Told me we were never giants

So who is the person i wish i was?
The ashes or the smoke?
To linger or to drift into nevermore?
The corpse of love or the melancholic freedom?
Tethered or adrift?

Drag me to your altar and i’ll give you a gospel
Show me to the church doors and i won’t move another inch

i left my body in the bed
Like the cigarette stubs in the ashtray
As you drifted away with the breeze

i’ll leave this half empty
Just in case you’re coming back
But then you’d take this effigy
And turn it into epitaph
And i’ve kept our ashes unburied for far too long to let go